JKLTip Support each other in focusing on the Power of Now
It’s been a weird start to 2020. And it feels weird talking about the normal things. It feels off talking about business, success, and motivation. I know the overarching themes of learning and goal setting are actually helpful right now. On one hand, it seems insensitive to discuss these topics. But, on the other, it may be wise. Difficult times always pass. So, we should simply focus on learning to support each other for now.
We should try to support each other all the time. But, it’s especially important when times are tough. At the moment, we have a common enemy in terms of illness, finances and mental health.
We should support our friends, family, and colleagues. And, many people will disagree with this next sentence. But, we should support our “enemies” too. In one way it’s actually self-serving. Because the more you control your emotions toward others, the closer you get to calm.
How To Support People
Supporting each other can pose some challenges in terms of empathy. Especially when we look at the topic of introverts and extroverts. It’s been a joke, based on recent events, that self-isolation is an introvert’s dream and an extrovert’s nightmare. In reality, we all exist on a sliding scale of factors that lead to introversion, extroversion and everywhere in between.
Simply put, we are all at times more energized by people. At other times we are drained by people. For some individuals, these traits are more common and consistent.
So, how do we support people no matter how they feel?
When supporting introverts, provide lower frequency, but higher value and intensity of interactions. Instead of calling a bunch of times, have one very thoughtful, but brief connection. Allow those in an introverted state to let things soak in, to sit and think. And, do your best not to spring sudden interactions on introverts. Always give advanced warning.
When supporting extroverts, provide higher frequency and perhaps more random interactions. Don’t always search for a high-value meaning or outcome. Find ways to allow them to rant and brainstorm out loud. It’s important to have activities, and changes of pace to keep extroverts from becoming bored. Don’t judge if they hop from thing to thing.
One Thing For All Of Us
Universally, it is important to support with unconditional love and without judgment. Allow people to react to life events in their own way. Some people will like to stay quiet, alone, and play sad music, or draw. Others may want to play a board game, have a dance party, or play charades with a bunch of people.
No matter what we are currently feeling, there is one thing that can help all of us. Introverts, extroverts and everyone in between can benefit from being present.
I used to struggle with my mental health as much as anyone. But, in recent years I have been successful in bouncing back and forth between business, work, family, friends, fun and fitness quite effectively. We never know when it will come and go, but I feel pretty good right now. I discussed this on the Sad & The City podcast. While there are near-infinite factors connected to my personal recovery, one definitely stands out as helpful in learning to support others.
The Power of Now
Learning to support each other brings a lot of individual differences. But there is one universal thing that helps. Learning the mindfulness concepts in Eckhart Tolle’s best selling book helps everyone. This is an incredible book, The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment that I definitely recommend, and the overall premise is simple.
The key is to let go of psychological timing. Our thoughts about the past, or future lead to worry and anxiety. Sometimes we must use “clock time” in the sense of scheduling, or setting goals. But, that is the only time to use it.
An enlightened person is able to use “clock time” to envision a future and learn from the past, without it impacting their mental health. When you learn the power of now, you don’t allow your current fulfillment to be linked to the past or future. You give your fullest appreciation and attention to whatever you are doing this precise, split second.