JKL Tip Find opportunities (schedule) for time to be alone. Start with a very small amount, perhaps before you drive to your next destination see if you can do 10 minutes in your car, no sleeping, no radio, no phone calls, or texts. Just you
To fight [it] we need to practice being alone and being bored
.
Why do we climb corporate ladders? Why do we care what the bio on a social page says, or how we look in a photo? I’m not sure why…
But what I know is that [it] has something to do about what others think of us, a social self preservation of sorts
.
The inverse happens too, we all know the people who always need someone with them, or always need to be ‘preoccupied’. More and more of us are becoming that type, the world in many ways reinforces getting bored quickly. [It] is why we can’t stand “waiting”… [It] is why we need constant stimulation
.
But what is [It] ?
I think [It] is a fear of being alone, being isolated and left to live within our own minds, our own thoughts, our own insecurities, where we hear everything our head and heart want us to hear, I think [it] can be a scary place. I think [it] is also hating ourselves, and not providing ourselves enough self love, so we fill the void with tv, reading, social scrolling, eating, gaming, exercise, etc…
In simple terms, as humans we are hardwired to seek pleasure over pain. This can be accomplished via healthy activities like cross country skiing, cards with friends, or meditation. Avoiding certain pain can also be accomplished at the dark end through self harm and addictions
.
So, if at the heart of much of our social emotional pain is the fear of ultimately ending up alone, un loved, or forced to think alone, then the best way to face this, which spills over into all aspects of life, rather than drugs, or dangerous activities that work in the short term, is to develop a strong ability to be alone, improve our ability to do nothing for as long as possible and build a moat between not doing anything and “being bored”